Unexpected...

I'm a strong believer that some of the best things in life are the most unexpected ones and I also believe that everything happens for some reason & what's meant to be will be.

In my other post, I talked about the guy (let's call him BK) that I pushed away who loved me and I loved. Well today I was doing some thinking & as much as I wanted to be with BK and as much as I think I loved him, I realized that maybe we aren't meant to be together and that maybe that love I thought I had for him was actually just an infatuation for him. Because I believe if I really loved BK I wouldn't have these unexpected feelings for this unexpected person, RJ. My relationship with RJ started off as a platonic friendship that was filled with goofy moments, jokes and laughter. But as time went on and things between me and BK went downhill, things between me and RJ progressed. I never in a million years expected to be in this position. I always had it in my mind that I would be with BK and that I wouldn't want or need anyone else. But now that I sit back and actually look at it, I find myself thinking and yearning for RJ. And it's crazy because he is nothing like BK, physically and mentally. Me and BK are very different in a sense, yet me and RJ are soo similar. And with BK I felt things had to go with a certain plan and I needed to know how things would go, but with RJ I can sit back, relax and just be me. Maybe its that opposing similarity that draws me into him. I don't know what is going to come out of these unexpected feelings for this unexpected person. But I am happy to sit back (for once) and see what happens. So until next time...

P.S. Speaking of unexpected things, my ex (who I haven't talked to in like two years) texted me today, talking about past things and how he missed me. It was quite random, but since we didn't end on bad blood it was kinda nice to just reminisce and talk.

When Words Fail...

...music speaks...

I think that is a great quote & so true. I know when I'm going through something or feeling down, I can always listen to a song to bring me out of my little slump. Or there are times when I can't explain how I feel, there is usually a song that explains exactly how I feel. Whether, its sad, happy, loved, loveless, frisky, there is always a song for my mood. For example my current Mood Tunes include:

Happy
Beautiful Bliss by Wale, Melanie Fiona & J. Cole

Frisky
Sex Therapy by Robin Thicke
Upstairs by Trey Songz

Love Life
One Love by Trey Songz
Lazy by LeToya Luckett

And then there are song that kind of fit my personality at the moment and I have two songs that explain me soo much...

90210 by Wale
"...she live her whole life like tv/ And she would do anything for everything/ Regular girl, celebrity dreams/ she is 90210..."

Diary by Wale
"...I wonder why I sit and cry/ Wish I could shed all these tears/ I'm down and out/ I'll keep on moving and tryna get out/ I dont know how to move on/ Where I went wrong/ I wish I could live with no fear/ So down and out/ I'll keep it moving and tryna get out/ Somehow..."

I feel both those songs explain me. 90210 because of my lust for a glamorous lifestyle & Diary because I'm so unable to let of the past & just accept the present & future. But this was just a random post I was feeling. Until next time...

XOXO

I've Fallen In Love....

...with The Princess & The Frog! OMG! It has become my new favorite Disney movie & Princess Tiana is my favorite princess (after Princess Jasmine). But today I decided to take myself on a little date to see the movie & do a little Christmas shopping & I'm so happy I did.

Like from start to finish, I enjoyed the movie so much! The acting, plot, artwork, music, all of it was GREAT! And I'm so happy Disney was able to capture the culture and history of 1920s New Orleans (shoot, it made wanna go back in time to that era). And Princess Tiana is WONDERFUL! Great model for girls (& women).

But I read a while ago, about people feeling some type of way about the movie, from Tiana's orginial name Maddie, to not having a Black Prince (but I must say Prince Naveen was just fine with me). But I think once people see the movie they will forget about those problems and just see the movie for it is, a Disney Classic! I kinda felt like I needed to rush out and get Tiana merchandise (I did buy a coloring book, hey I like to color :) ). Like in 2009 we were able to experience the first African-American President, & now the first African-American Disney Princess! But that's my little rant about The Princess & The Frog and I definitely encourage EVERYONE to see it, you will not be disappointed! :) But until next time...

XOXO

Hiatus Ended & Sad Past = Unhappy Future?

So after an unexpected & unneeded three month hiatus, I'm back! I definitely kind of fell off the face of blog Earth. I had no intentions of taking a "break", I just kind of stopped writing. Don't ask why I disappered or what happened, because I don't know why. I guess I felt that my blog wasn't "interesting" to people. But then I realized whether I have 1 follower or 100, my blog is interesting to someone, me! And that's all that matters!

Anywho, today I was having a discussion with my blog buddy, Chymere of The Sweetheart Chronicles (please check her out, great read!) & we were discussing why women have the tendency to push good guys away. And that really hit home for me, because I recently pushed a good guy away after he told me he loved me. Instead of accepting his love, which was mutual, I questioned it and doubted his true intentions. Why you may ask, was I dumb to push away a good guy that loved me? Well since pushing him away, I've been gone over and over in my mind why I let it happen, why couldn't I just accept the fact that he loved me? My initial answer was because of my past & how I was hurt so badly before by my exs, I couldn't accept that 1. there are still good guys out there & 2. this good guy could actually love me. And as good of a reason that may be to others, its not good enough for me. I can't allow myself to believe that I let something I've wanted for a long time (a good guy & love) go because of my past.

I don't get why we as people (men & women) hold on to our past so tightly that it affects our present and our future. I am one of those people who cant seem to let the past go. I've let some of my past go, but not the whole thing. And its crazy because I believe that you are just supposed to learn from the past and just move on, at least that what I tell my friends. But why can't I seem to practice what I preach. Because of my insecurities of the past, I'm unable to experience the happiness of the future. So I ask myself again, why do we as women (& even men) push away the things and people we want in life because of the past? If you are able to answer that question for me, please do, I'll gratefully appreciate it. But that's my little post to welcome myself back to the blogworld. But until next time...

XOXO,

Jazmine

Random "Labor Day" Pains

Today's Topic: Randomness!!!

1. What is up with all these athletes getting caught up with their groupie loves? First Kobe, then Steve McNair, now Shawn Merriman. Dudes, please GET IT TOGETHER!

2. Kanye West's "All Falls Down" speaks soo much truth to me. I know its off his first album, but it goes oh so hard, plus I am definitely a "single, black female addicted to retail."
3. I know I'm late, but am I the only one who is sick and tired of them talking about Chris Brown? I'm definitely not backing wife beaters, but Chris is cool in my book. So America, move on!
4. Ludacris is soo awesome for giving away 20 cars to people in need! Other definitely need to follow suit.
5. So what's this drama between Keyshia Cole's mother Neffie and Housewife of ATL Kim? I'm need for both these annoying "ladies" to kick rocks and break a toe! No one cares about either one of them. Just saying.
6. Why do guys think saying "Aye shawty" will get my attention? Please come at me correct.
7. Why is Trey Songz so wonderful & sexy? Ready is an AWESOME album! "One Love" & "Neighbors Know My Name" are my faves!
8. NC A&T SU Homecoming 2009 is going to be GREAT and I can't wait! I love my school!

Last but not least...

9. My 20th birthday is FRIDAY!! Today begans the "Week of Jazmine". My plans so far include going to dinner with my girlies Friday night and then on Saturday night... "Party party party, lets all get wasted..." - Gucci. I'm really excited about my birthday. I just wanna see what my mom and dad sent me.

Well that was just some randomness of my life right now. Until next time...

College Love: Does It Really Exist?

Today's Topic: Love

So I've always had this image in my head that I would come to college, meet the guy of dreams, and be married to him a few years or even months after graduation. Well its my junior year, and I have yet to meet that guy. Shoot, I haven't even had a "real college relationship". And after talking to some friends and seeing how our different situations pan out, it got me to thinking if you can actually have love in college. Don't get me wrong I do know a lot of couples who have been together for some time and seem like they are very much in love. But with so much lust and temptation in college, how do you keep a healthy relationship? My close friends know that I'm a huge romantic and a strong advocate of love and "living happily ever after". But being in college and seeing how bad guys play my friends and myself included, I'm starting to think that finding love in college is harder than finding Osama Bin Laden. Normally I'm optimistic and positive about these kind of things, but its just hard when you have so many let downs. So I wondering, does love exists in college? If so, where? Well until next time...

XOXO

Randomoscity

Omg! I feel like I have completely abandoned my blog! I've been back at school for like two weeks now, and I've been busy with classes, homework, friends and basically getting back into the groove of things. These first few weeks of school have been pretty good and gone by quite smoothly. Actually I found out that my husband in my head Trey Songz will be coming for our homecoming (which is on Halloween) & so I am sooo damn excited!! Like I will be heaven at homecoming!! One of the greatest things about going to an HBCU is homecoming weekend is always great! And you get to meet and see soo many different people! I love it! I can't wait!

Not much is happening since school just started. I've moved into my dorm, gone to classes, spent $700 on 5 books (FML), gone clubbin', and just chilled with my friends. It really feels good to be back. Even though school life can be hard and boring, its so nice to get out of Michigan!! Yay!!

My birthday is in like 12 days and I am ready! I will be saying goodbye to my teen years!! Yay for 20!! I'm trying to figure out what I want to do for my birthday. I just know I want to be around positive people and positive energy. So well see how the next few days go for planning. But until next time...

XOXO